Was Elrond in a gay marriage? We don’t know, because it’s none of our goddamn business. … No matter what Elrond got up to, it didn’t effect his ability to perform his job like a boss. And that is to provide travelers with great directions.
Concept: That scene in every 90s high school movie where someone shows the new kid around the cafeteria (”that table is the nerds, those are the jocks, the goths, the cheerleeders” etc) except it’s a medieval tavern and each table has a different d&d class.
Those are the arcane casters. They all sit together, but the wizards think the sorcerers are undisciplined cheaters and the sorcerers think the wizards are pretentious dicks. You don’t wanna get in the middle of that–the last person who tried got polymorphed into a toad. I guess he had a lot of debts he was looking to get out of, though, so he just rolled with it. He’s somebody’s familiar now, I think.
The bards used to sit with them, but they broke off a while ago to do their own thing. Look, I should tell you right now: you’re poetically gonna sleep with at least one of them. It’s happened to most of us, so don’t be embarrassed. If you’re lucky, you might get away with just a ballad to your beauty parodying an 80s rock hit.
The paladins are at the next table over. Religious freaks, but if you’re getting bullied they’ll have your back even if they don’t know you. You, uh…you might end up sleeping with some of them, too. Look, they’re really good listeners, okay? Whatever.
The druids. Don’t even THINK of trying to sit with them unless you’re rocking a negative carbon footprint. Or if you can turn into a bear or a slow loris or something, they love that shit.
remembering that kakashi was fuckign 26 years old when he got assigned team seven is blowing my mind right now. I was naruto’s age when I got sucked into this shit and now I’m kakashi’s and like,,,I get it. my man got assigned the generation’s WORST of the WORST gremlin children and he did the best he fuckin’ could. he nearly dies on every mission because sasuke refuses to go to anger management and naruto is so dumb he probably can’t even read. he’s got like 7 summons that are dogs and he could be spending all his time with them but is he/?? no. he’s got a sharingan making him so Perpetually Exhausted it’s a straight up medical condition and he has to spend all his free time restraining the two finalists of Konoha’s Next Top Orphan from getting people killed instead of like….teaching them. 26 years old and all that unbelievable bullshit. god. and!! then when he finally gets to take a fucking nap they make him hokage I honestly can’t believe he did it. wasn’t even 30 fucking years old. I can’t believe he didn’t leave the damn village himself.
