You meant so much to me as a young teen growing up. Your lyrics and melody were amazing. I brought you my bullets , you brought me your love and Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge were the albums I loved to just burst out singing along while listening to on my headphones in my room. I always wanted to be apart of the MCRmy and wish I could have seen you guys live. Whenever I was struggling I could listen to your music and it made me feel better. I grew with excitement when Black Parade was coming out, it was something different and yet still something that was all you. Then Danger Days was being released and I made sure to buy it the day of. Still could feel the vibe of what was MCR but still a different sound all it’s own. But I felt I could relate to it even as I’m getting older. I will miss you My Chemical Romance. “Can you hear me? Are you near me? Can we pretend to leave and then We’ll meet again When both our cars collide? What’s the worst that I can say? Things are better if I stay So long and goodnight”

I do a lot of thinking, I’m pretty sure everyone does, but I can’t say if I think more then your average person or I just think I do. For some reason whenever I think of something that seems significant or worth writing down, I want to write down, but I don’t have anything near me to do so. For example, I was in my moms room waiting for her to get out of the bathroom so I could use it so I got up to get my phone off the charger and use notepad at least to write what I was thinking down, now that I have my phone though I started writing but decide against it because it just seems like another pointless topic/conversation with myself that no one else would have an interest in and it just becomes another rant … Which this basically has turned out to become :/

sorry -\\

If you wanted to know what I was going to write about .. The gist of it was I’m tired of being alone and I don’t mean relationship wise I just want someone that gets me…

And I thought it was pretty good, kinda depressing if you think about it. I suppose I felt a connection with Jennifer Lawrence character, I don’t want to spoil it for anyone so *spoiler alert* like how she “picks the wrong people” and how she wants to help them, idk just got me thinking :/ so I’m in my depressed/thinking mood haha, but over all it was good I would recommend it.

Especially because it has two attractive people in it ;P Jennifer Lawrence and Max Thieriot damn BAHAHAHAHA

Because everything you try to do is all for nothing or nothing just turns out the way you want it to. All my thoughts that run through my head i cant be left alone with them … they make me feel like shit and worthless, im fake and used. All dried up with not even a drop to give. Will anything ever come clear, will it end before then.

I come back to work and I’m already getting yelled at for things that aren’t my fault or I can’t control or for just being me… :/ ..

I just don’t see it in my life. Whoever I start liking Just ends with complications. I just can’t pursue anyone anymore.  I’ll love them as a friend as much as i can but that’s all it will ever peek. I’ll never be able to explain to those people how much I cared. All the heartache and thoughts i went through just to damage myself to this point.  I do say this now of course that I will never feel love or want it around me anymore but give me time and I’m sure I can feel what I once use to be. 

but after what has happened those 2 days i just want to drink more …. >_> im such a drunk haha…. :\ but i should still be proud of myself … just cant stop thinking about probably only chance i will never get again