I do a lot of thinking, I’m pretty sure everyone does, but I can’t say if I think more then your average person or I just think I do. For some reason whenever I think of something that seems significant or worth writing down, I want to write down, but I don’t have anything near me to do so. For example, I was in my moms room waiting for her to get out of the bathroom so I could use it so I got up to get my phone off the charger and use notepad at least to write what I was thinking down, now that I have my phone though I started writing but decide against it because it just seems like another pointless topic/conversation with myself that no one else would have an interest in and it just becomes another rant … Which this basically has turned out to become :/
If you wanted to know what I was going to write about .. The gist of it was I’m tired of being alone and I don’t mean relationship wise I just want someone that gets me…
Because everything you try to do is all for nothing or nothing just turns out the way you want it to. All my thoughts that run through my head i cant be left alone with them … they make me feel like shit and worthless, im fake and used. All dried up with not even a drop to give. Will anything ever come clear, will it end before then.
I just don’t see it in my life. Whoever I start liking Just ends with complications. I just can’t pursue anyone anymore. I’ll love them as a friend as much as i can but that’s all it will ever peek. I’ll never be able to explain to those people how much I cared. All the heartache and thoughts i went through just to damage myself to this point. I do say this now of course that I will never feel love or want it around me anymore but give me time and I’m sure I can feel what I once use to be.
That you are willing to tell anything to but when you try the slightest I express how you are they don’t care even when they say they will be there for you …. :/ :( There was more that sounded better in my head but whatever